05.08.08
A Glimpse…
By four o’clock today the girls and I figured the day was a loss. The man of the house away and missed, some disappointing news, important mail that didn’t come, an orthodontic appointment for Sunshine, a dentist appointment to fill a cavity and add sealant for the Novocaine resistant Pumpkin, the rescue of a sun stricken baby possum, and a missed haircut due to the delay at the dentist, not to mention the house sorely unprepared for the move next week, had us all looking at each other and heaving a big sigh. I had been eyeing the new Iron Man movie and decided that instead of going to work out at the Y, I’d see if we couldn’t redeem the day.
I called the girls from the various and sundry areas of the house to which they had retreated and asked them if they wanted to go. There was an unusually cautious response but a positive conclusion was reached with some encouragement and we set out for the theater. Several hours later our moods were substantially improved. The movie was a hit all the way around and we set off for the local pizza place amid post movie chatter since everyone was hungry and the massive quantities of Novocaine incapacitating the full half of Pumpkin’s face had finally worn off. The pizza came and went… and as I sat waiting for Sunshine to finish her last piece I looked around at the animated faces of my four daughters caught up in the conversation. Their faces were bathed in light as the day came to a close outside and time slowed as I caught a glimpse…
I’ve caught glimpses before you know, glimpses that take me back… kissing Pumpkin’s forehead goodnight I’ll occasionally get a whiff of that smell she had when she was a baby and closing my eyes see once again her tiny form making the mattress of her baby bed seem as big as a King size mattress. Watching Cricket do her excited little hop reminds me of the hop Precious used to do when she was about two years old. Little things that take me back to days gone by, precious memories of when my girls were small. This glimpse was different…
This glimpse was of future days… days ahead when my daughters will no longer be teens and pre-teens, but beautiful young women in their own right. Days when they are grown, with lives of their own, when we will get together and do things not just as mother and daughters… but as friends too, sitting around some future table making new memories or reminiscing over the old. I looked at their faces and saw, for just a moment, the beautiful women they will become and heard, for a brief second, the laughter of more mature voices and good times yet to be had echoing back through the years.
As we drove home through the dark blues skies and greens hills of a late spring dusk, country music escaped the windows and warm breezes whipped our hair around our faces. Peeking in the rearview mirror, I spied smiling faces tipped up to the wind, eyes squinted against the strings of hair lashing their cheeks and thought how proud I am of them, how much fun we have together… We have had such an awful year, my husband and I agree that this has been the worst year in our entire marriage… not because of family strife, but due to outside events – many beyond our control. Yet even now, at the end of such a year and with yet another move and many uncertainties ahead, the girls are able to find, to make, these shared moments of joy… They are happy… and my heart fills with joy at their happiness.
I ignored the urge to prolong the drive home, to hold on to the moment just a little longer, and allowed this precious time to come to its natural close, buoyed by the knowledge that it would take its place in the hallowed halls of our family memories… and that here are many more to come… after all…
I caught a glimpse.
11.08.07
Who’s On First…
Riding back to the resort after dinner at one of the Disney restaurants (Boma at Animal Kingdom Lodge for those who know and care), the following conversation was to be heard in our car…
Sunshine: Well, I know where I want to put the furniture in my room.
Daddy/Husband: Which is…..?
Sunshine: Which is?
Daddy: Which is? (drawn out)
Sunshine: Which is WHAT? (frustrated)
Cricket: (stage whispering) Where you want to put the furniture in your room!
Sunshine: Oh! Well, I know where I want to put it.
I slap my head as dh drops his head into his hand and begins to laugh along with everyone else in the car.
Talking to that child is like trying to have a conversation about who’s on first.
03.17.07
Pseudo Spring… Break, That is…
This past week was spring break for the local institutional schools (public, university, and so on). We do not follow the institutional school schedule. We are homeschoolers! (What can I say, it’s one of the benefits…)
Ok, I have to stop here because Pumpkin was reading over my shoulder and choked out “BENEFITS!?!?!?!?” I confess, my head swivelled. “You don’t consider taking two weeks off in the middle of October when all the other public school kids are slaving away to go to Disney in the sweet season BENEFITS????” She rapidly rethought her position and began bobbing her head in agreement while muttering something about ‘thought you meant all the extra school work we get done’… ungrateful wretch that she is… harumph. So I turned to her and said that for penance she could go make me a fresh cup of tea. I’m pleased to inform you all that she burst out laughing. *big grin* (As it was purely amusement at the audacity of my request, and not disrespectful, I consider that an indicator of successful parenting.) Once her mirth was under control, she said she WOULD make me a fresh cuppa, because she loves me. Awwwwwwwwwww.
Where was I… So when my children heard it was spring break and all the public school kids were going to be out for the entire week they turned speculative gleams mom-ward. It was MY turn to burst into laughter. I am so not that easy. After informing them that we would certainly not be taking off an entire week thankyouverymuch, I granted that we might take a day off as nice weather was in the forecast. They thought this a lovely concession and went away happy discussing which day they would choose to take off. As if they would get a choice. HA.
Tuesday was lovely so we took the afternoon off (I had intended to do so provided we schooled in the morning and had nice weather) and all day Wednesday. Both days were the peak weather for the week and by far the best weather we’ve seen since last fall. Warm enough that the girls were out in shorts and bare feet, playing in the grass and the stream that runs through our back yard. By Wednesday afternoon, they had used up a good bit of that spring fever and settled a bit.
My girls aren’t your average girls, they aren’t the type who only think of boys and make-up and clothes. When they get out, they ride bikes, swing on a rope, play dart guns or soccer with the boys down the street, shoot bb or pellet guns/bows and arrows, try to get a thrown knife to stick every time, track animals in the woods and by the stream (for fun, we don’t kill them) etc… however the usual result of being shoo’d out of doors is that they end up reading books on a blanket or beach towel in the sun instead of inside. The cats joined them for some love and provided the occasional break from the books.
Thursday saw the return of cold weather. Despite the tentative shoots put up by bulbs, new growth on trees, etc, spring is still some weeks away. It was back to the grindstone for us as well. Lessons done while the weather is dreary mean lighter days when the sun beckons and warm breezes blow. Still, even though it wasn’t REALLY spring, it was a blessing and a nice break with hints of the glory to come.
06.16.06
Hemingway…
Not long ago I posted about a large number of school books having arrived. One of those books has finally been read by one of the girls… Hemingway’s Old Man and the Sea, finally finished….. by Cricket! Nine years old! Pumpkin’s reading The Hobbit in two days as a 7 year old still holds the Most Impressive Read Award, but I have to say this one is a very. close. second. I asked her what she thought of it, to which she replied, “It was good, but I felt sorry for the fish.” 
12.29.05
It Only Hurts When…
So Cricket just came to me to tell me she’s missing Graying (the bunny) and kiss me goodnight. I do the usual loving on her, and then ask if she got enough to eat today (remember, this is my stick child who was in the hospital for so long this fall), and if she took her vitamins (lest she get so sick again), and how her head is feeling… and she says to me….
“It only hurts when I hit it.”
Deep Impact…
As if the bunny funeral held last night in a very cold pouring rain, after dark weren’t enough, Cricket managed to trip over Sunshine’s foot and propel herself forehead first into the edge of a door. You can imagine (and sympathetically wince) at the resounding crack that was heard, and feel the muscles tighten along your neck in the all too brief silence that follows in preparation for the ear splitting screech of pain which inevitably results from such an impact. No parent can move quickly enough at such a time, much less overweight out-of-shape parents, but we do our best. Cricket had a lovely dark blue crease running vertically along one side of her forehead and a goose egg was quickly making that crease ever deeper. She spent the night in our bed, wedged between us with an icepack draped artistically if not strategically across her forehead. The morning brought a definite reduction in swelling, but she remained in bed most of the day with a little nausea and dizziness which has since resolved. Life is never dull around these parts…
11.08.05
Ordinary Time…
Next Sunday is the 33rd Sunday in Ordinary Time… My 10 yr old remarked the other day that there is a LOT of Ordinary Time. It does seem that way doesn’t it? One ordinary day runs into another ordinary day… Time can slip by so easily that it is as a breeze through the wisps of hair at the nape of the neck… barely noticeable unless the temperature is an extreme one. It seems that this year has been one of extremes… Extreme stress, extreme relief, extreme health, extreme illness, extreme educational success, extreme educational chaos, and we won’t even discuss the extreme weight gain…
The one constant has been Faith. It has been a constant walk of obedience, of discovery, of patience. Sometimes that walk has brought great sorrow, sobbing on the floor at the Feet of the Savior. Sometimes that walk has brought such intense joy that it welled out of me in great tears. Sometimes it has been a quieter thing… warm, peaceful, a steady source of comfort and solace like a favorite blanket or your own bed when your body is weary. A steady confidence in Christ my King, that I do not walk alone, that I am in the center of His will, that nothing comes to me but through His hands. Oddly, it has been the only thing in the past few months that is a success… and yet I feel like such a failure.
Things were going so well until Cricket got sick. The housework was done consistently, lessons tripped along at an uncommonly good pace, the children’s attitudes were good, I was even getting the last bits of odds and ends sorted through from the move. Cricket’s illness shut all of that down immediately. Oh sure, we worked at keeping things clean and not abandoning our responsibilities, but a child doesn’t get that sick for that long and leave your life untouched. She is finally well, except for a lingering emotional component… and we are trying to hard to get the schedule back, the routine back, the structure back… and it is like a rat in a wheel… we keep going and going and going but getting nowhere and the cage about us only gets messier. The anal-retentive (is that hyphenated?) organization freak (what about the rest of it?) in me is climbing the walls and yet as I look back over the typing…perhaps my perspective is all wrong.
Hasn’t all this ‘failure’ in reality been a success? Life has gone native around my ears and yet the lifeline yet holds. It is not fraying, it does not tremble from the strain, it shows no sign of weakening. I may feel as though I am at the end of the rope, but it is securely tied about me so that even when I am too weak to hold on any longer I will not fall. Above and beyond me, the anchor holds. Pierced hands, wounded still and bleeding hold firm… no trace of pain or impatience on that loving brow, only compassion, mercy and grace… a gentle encouraging smile that says I’ve got you… don’t look down, look at me… you’re really much closer to the top than you think.
Help me O Lord, to see through Your eyes. Help me to see things Eternally while living temporally and keep my focus always on You… Help me to remember that REAL success is not what the world values but what You value. These things about which I worry will all pass away, but the Love I have for You, the Love I pass on to my children, THAT will remain and, unlike knowledge and understanding of math, language arts, and history, can never be given once the opportune moment is gone.
10.26.05
The Popsicle…
There is a popsicle thawing in the hall shower. It walked into the house in jeans, t-shirt, tennis shoes and had a purple jacket hanging off its shoulders. The popsicle came in bearing leaves of many beautiful colors to show off and decided that I needed to wear one in my hair. That was the popsicle’s mistake… I leaned over so that the leaf could be placed in my coiffure (read that banana clipped twist) only to recoil and gasp in shock as the popsicle touched my cheek with her ICY fingers to hold my head steady. It has been ten minutes and I still have chill bumps on my neck and shoulders. Of course, new game just started in the cul-de-sac notwithstanding; I announced the official end to outdoor play for the day and ordered the popsicle to the shower.
The popsicle’s sister wasn’t happy at the news. She was only HALF frozen, as opposed to the dry ice like status of her sister, and when her attempts to persuade me to retract my edict failed, tried to tell me that she wasn’t GOING to take her shower right now. HELLO? Not GOING to take your shower?!?!?!? The child’s self-preservation instinct was obviously the first thing to stop working in the cold. I am not one of those parents who, when a gauntlet is thrown to the floor, steps over it and kisses the child to whom it belongs. This is a common problem. She mistakes me for someone who CARES about what she WANTS to do… as opposed to being the authority in her life who tells her what she WILL do… She is now clean and smiling…
So here I sit, looking like an overweight Anglo Indian in a nightie with a leaf feather sticking up out of my twisted banana clipped hair. Stew simmers in the crockpot and I sit down to work on yet more papers that need grading while watching tv with the family… only to find that I’ve managed to enter the WHOLE SLEW of grades I just did in a program that had not been restored and I must go through and reenter them. Thank heaven I don’t have to GRADE them again! God is good.
At least I managed to remember to take Precious to Catechism class at the church today… plumb forgot last week! I take work and wait for her as it’s only about an hour. What a lovely time, the murmur of children’s voices in the background, the warmth of the heater now that cooler temperatures have arrived, and the companionable silence of a friend with whom no words are necessary. We work and share things as the mood moves us… Such times are a great blessing in what can be a very isolating vocation.
Home Alone…
Yesterday was NOT a good day… We got up and headed to the church for morning prayers, and as we are all pouring out of the car, Sunshine says “I have to put my book back in the car.” So I turn around and looked, and said, “Where’s Cricket? Let her out of the car too!” thinking that the girls had shut the door on her. So Sunshine goes to look and informs me that Cricket is NOT in the car! *Insert horrified screech* We load up and start back for the house, only to have Sunshine say, “Aren’t we going kinda fast?” OF COURSE WE ARE GOING KINDA FAST! I LEFT A CHILD AT HOME!!!!! We ended up meeting my husband on his way to work with her in the car… HE opens his window, grins, and says “Did you forget something?” Ha. Ha. Ha.
Cricket didn’t seem upset… and she did say at some point in my effusive apologies “Mom, I forgave you four times already!” She only said once that she felt a ‘little left out’ because we had left her behind. Joe had tried to tell her we left her but she wouldn’t believe him until she went and saw the empty garage herself. *sob* I’m such a terrible mother! Joe told her, “Mommy won’t do like most mom’s, she won’t assume I’ll bring you to her, or that I’ll take you to work with me… she’ll come tearing back over here to get you…” and he was RIGHT! She got a lot of snuggles and hugs yesterday… and this morning when we went to prayers, I stood at the door and did a headcount BEFORE I walked out to the car… and made sure Cricket was the FIRST child to get in the car!!!
10.24.05
The Sound of Music…
Last night Cricket, my 8 yr old, wanted to sing me a song out of last years songbook from church. I said sure, and after a moment here she comes into the living room lugging the music stand. She sets herself up in front of the tv where we can all see her, puts the hymnal on the stand, raps on the stand and looks at us across it – calling for attention! I had NO idea she was paying so much attention to the leader of music in our church. She can’t really read music so she ‘sang’ the songs, all three, to her own melody. She also informed us (during a break while looking for another song to sing) in a very outraged manner that her eldest sister, Pumpkin, had told her that she couldn’t preach because she was a girl and God didn’t let girls preach. We had to discuss the options for women in the Catholic Church. She sure seems to aspire to service, which is fantastic. While she was giving her performance, we could hear our 10 yr old daughter, Precious, singing the songs from Mass in the shower. I can’t help but wonder as I see the devotion of those two, what plan God might have for them. I hope regardless of the vocation they are called to that they continue to show such devotion throughout their lives.
